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Confessions

AITA for Cutting Off My Childhood Best Friend After She Demanded I Break Up with My Fiancé?

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A dramatic digital painting showing the emotional moment of a friendship ending. In the foreground, two women stand facing each other; one looks angry

Recently, I visited my parents and found out my former best friend, Mary, told them that my fiancé, Dave, was cheating on me. While my dad believed me, my mom remains on the fence, unsure who to trust. Here’s the story, including the fallout.


Mary (31F) and I (23F) have been friends since childhood, but our relationship has always been complicated. Growing up, Mary was manipulative and often lied, but I ignored it because she was a close friend. Over the years, her behavior became harder to dismiss, yet I maintained the friendship, hoping things would improve.

Things escalated recently when Mary demanded I break up with Dave, my fiancé. Her reasoning? She claimed Dave was “too good of a boyfriend” compared to her own partner, Julian. Her jealousy and inability to handle her own relationship frustrations were obvious, but it still hurt coming from someone I considered a best friend.

When I refused, she doubled down, spreading a false story that Dave had been cheating on me with a coworker. According to Mary, she’d seen them together at a café months ago, though she conveniently never mentioned this before. She even told my parents her fabricated story, twisting the narrative to make herself seem concerned for my well-being.

The Aftermath

Visiting my parents was tense. My mom, who is close friends with Mary’s mother, seemed more inclined to believe Mary’s lies, despite how outlandish they were. I spent hours trying to explain what had really happened: Mary’s jealousy, her manipulation, and the lies she’d told. I even showed my mom text messages to prove my point.

My dad sided with me immediately. He admitted he had concerns about Mary’s influence on me when I was younger but felt powerless to intervene because of my mom’s close friendship with Mary’s mother. My mom, however, continued to defend Mary, claiming she “just wanted the best for me.”

When I reminded her that Mary had been dishonest and manipulative for years, my mom dismissed it as a misunderstanding. She even suggested speaking to Mary to “hear her side,” despite already having had a one-sided conversation where Mary lied to her. This sparked a heated argument.

Where Things Stand Now

I left my parents’ house feeling frustrated and defeated, but my fiancé was supportive, helping me calm down. Right now, I’ve decided to cut off contact with Mary entirely. Mutual friends who’ve taken her side won’t be hearing from me either. My fiancé and I agree that there’s no point in clearing our names with people who clearly believe Mary’s false narrative.

As for my mom, I’m still grappling with how to handle our relationship. While her behavior has been deeply hurtful, she’s my mom, and cutting her off isn’t a decision I take lightly. I’m hoping she’ll eventually see Mary for who she truly is, but if she doesn’t, I’ll need to reevaluate our relationship.

Thank you to everyone who shared their experiences and advice on my original post. It’s been comforting to see that I’m not alone and that cutting out toxic friends is sometimes the best decision. To those who’ve gone through similar situations: I’m sorry, and I hope you’ve found peace with your decisions too.

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Confessions

Am I the Asshole for Making the Nurse at My Hysterectomy Pre-Op Appointment Feel Stupid?

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A tense and awkward scene set in a medical office during a pre-op appointment. A patient, looking frustrated but composed, sits across from a nurse wh.

Apparently, the nurse thought I was rude and combative because she literally noted that in my medical records.

I had a pre-op appointment with my hysterectomy surgeon today. During the triage portion, as the nurse was checking my vitals, she started asking me routine questions. But then she asked why I was choosing such a “drastic” procedure for period pain.

I explained that it’s not just period pain—it’s debilitating. The pain has gotten so bad that walking my 5-year-old to school leaves me on the verge of tears, and I bleed so heavily that I have to plan my kids’ lives around it. I’m exhausted and tired of living like this.

She then asked what I would do if I ever divorced my husband and a future partner wanted children. I responded, “Well, I already have three. They can pick one.” She corrected me, saying, “No, I mean their own child.” I shrugged and replied, “Well, that sucks for them, then.”

She went on to suggest birth control pills to slow the bleeding. I told her that’s just a bandaid solution to the problem. She then proposed an endometrial ablation, and I countered, “But ablation also means I can’t have kids. So what’s the difference? Why not just solve the problem altogether instead of using another temporary fix? Plus, the tissue could grow back since I’m only 32 and still have 15 to 20 years of dealing with this nonsense.”

At that point, she rolled her eyes and led me to the exam room to wait for the doctor. When I got home, I checked my medical notes, as I always do, and found that she’d written I was “rude” and “combative.”

Am I the asshole for how I handled this? The nurse was essentially trying to talk me out of a procedure that my doctor and I have been discussing for over a year.

Edit: Holy wow, I left after 10 comments and came back to 500! I’ve already emailed my doctor about the situation and am waiting to hear back tomorrow.

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Confessions

AITA for Promising My GF I’d Help with Her Loan but Backing Out After She Cheated on Me?

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A dramatic and emotional scene depicting a couple having a tense argument in a modern apartment living room. The man looks resolute and upset, sitting.

I (23M) had been with my girlfriend (24F) for almost four years. She was my first girlfriend, and I loved her deeply—too much, honestly. We were friends in school, and I genuinely thought we’d spend the rest of our lives together.

Early in 2024, she told me she wanted to apply for a master’s program and asked if I could help her financially. Without hesitation, I agreed. At the time, I envisioned her as my future wife and felt it was my responsibility to support her goals.

I approached my father, who is quite successful, and asked if he could help. He agreed but was cautious—he insisted that she take out a loan instead of directly giving her the money. My father promised to cover 60-70% of the monthly payments, and both her family and mine agreed to this arrangement.

Three months ago, everything fell apart. My girlfriend confessed that she had cheated on me. She told me she had gotten drunk at a party, kissed another guy, performed oral, and had sex with him—all in my car.

I was devastated. I loved her so much, but her betrayal crushed me. She apologized profusely, saying she made a terrible mistake and wanted to come clean because she didn’t want to hide it from me. I told her I forgave her, but honestly, I’m not sure if I meant it or if I was just pretending. Since then, I’ve been struggling with depression, hiding it from everyone.

Despite my heartbreak, her family went ahead and took out the loan with the understanding that my father would help with the payments. But as time passed, I couldn’t shake the resentment. I felt like she was expecting me to forgive her completely while also leaning on my family for financial support—using my father’s wealth as a safety net.

A few days ago, I finally told her I was breaking up with her and that she wouldn’t be receiving any more financial help from us. She freaked out, accusing me of being petty and saying she thought I had forgiven her. I simply walked away.

When I told my father about everything, he didn’t comfort me. Instead, he said, “This is why I insisted they take a loan instead of just handing over the money. You’ve learned a lesson.” At first, I was upset by his lack of sympathy, but I’ve come to realize he was protecting me in his own way. He planned for this possibility and always had my back, even if it wasn’t obvious at the time.

Now, my ex and her family are furious. They’re accusing me of ruining her life out of anger and saying I should have broken up with her earlier if I wasn’t going to help. They’ve even threatened to sue, but my father isn’t worried. He pointed out there’s no legal case since it was a verbal agreement and encouraged me to let them waste their time and money if they want to pursue it.

I feel conflicted. On one hand, I don’t regret setting boundaries and walking away after what she did. On the other hand, I can’t help but feel guilty. Was I too petty? Did I go too far in my anger? I’m still processing everything, and part of me wonders if I’ve made the right decision.

AITA?

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Confessions

Am I the Asshole for Not Immediately Confronting My Brother-in-Law About His Tattoo and Asking Him to Leave My House?

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A dramatic and tense scene set in a modern living room. The image shows a family gathering gone wrong, with a focus on the host (a person looking conf

I (26F) recently hosted my husband’s two sisters, their partners, and their children. They live about six hours away and were passing through on their way to a camping trip, so they spent the day with us before continuing on.

One of my brother-in-laws (BIL) and I couldn’t be more different, and to an extent, the same goes for his wife, my sister-in-law (SIL). While she mostly keeps her opinions to herself, he’s outspoken about his political and religious views, often in ways I find uncomfortable. For context, a few years ago, he caused a stir within the family by wanting to plaster political messages on his work vehicles (he owns a business). After backlash from friends and family, he didn’t go through with it but still complains about feeling “silenced” and frequently mocks people who disagree with his views.

Despite all this, we’ve maintained a surface-level relationship. When we’re together in person, he’s generally polite, and we’ve even shared a few laughs over the years. I chalked up his strong opinions to cultural differences, as I’m originally from a less religious country. In eight years of being part of the family, I had never heard him make overtly racist remarks in my presence—until now.

During their recent visit, BIL casually revealed that he had bought a tattoo gun online and had tattooed a small but unmistakable swastika on his upper thigh. He showed it off, joking about how no one would see it because it’s always covered.

I was stunned. My husband and I discussed it quietly in the kitchen, deciding not to escalate the situation in the moment. We wanted to keep the visit civil, especially for the sake of the children.

After they left, SIL messaged me to ask if everything was okay, as she had noticed our reactions. While my husband and I hadn’t yet decided on a course of action, I took the opportunity to express how deeply uncomfortable we were with her husband’s tattoo. I told her we didn’t feel comfortable having him in our home anymore and that any future interactions would be civil but distant. I explained we would focus on her, the children, and my other SIL during visits, but we wouldn’t be staying with them or hosting her husband.

She was very upset and seemed fixated on why we didn’t say anything in the moment if it bothered us so much. I explained that I didn’t want to escalate things or create a scene in front of the children. I also admitted feeling guilty for not speaking up right away and being, in a way, a bystander to his actions.

I don’t regret setting boundaries or distancing myself from him, but I’m disappointed in myself for not confronting the situation head-on. Part of me feels like I failed to act in the moment.

So, AITAH for waiting until they left to address the issue?

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