I’m expecting my first child, due in February. This will be the first grandchild on both sides of the family, so naturally, everyone is super excited.
My father’s girlfriend, “Lena” (not her real name), and I have an okay relationship, but we’re very different people. We don’t share many common interests, and while there’s no bad blood, she can be a bit pushy at times, so we’re not particularly close.
One major difference between us is our views on influencer culture: Lena is a big fan; I’m not. Ever since I announced my pregnancy, she’s been flooding me with Instagram posts from influencers sharing their experiences with childbirth and motherhood.
A few months back, one of her favorite influencers gave birth and posted a poorly edited video of the entire process—complete with family members waiting outside the delivery room and country music playing in the background. Lena shared the video with me, and I distinctly remember telling her I’d never do something like that.
Fast forward to Christmas, which my husband and I spent with my extended family at my cousin’s house. During the gift exchange, Lena handed me an envelope. Inside was a business card for a videographer. She explained that she’d hired him to film the birth of my baby.
I was floored. I can’t imagine being filmed during such an intimate and vulnerable medical procedure, and I’ve been clear from the start that only my husband will be with me at the hospital. But in the moment, I didn’t want to embarrass Lena, so I thanked her.
Yesterday, my husband and I had lunch with my father and Lena. During the meal, I gently told her that while I appreciated her gesture, I didn’t feel comfortable having a videographer at my birth. I assured her she didn’t need to get me anything else for Christmas, but I asked that she not follow through with hiring him.
This upset both Lena and my father, and the conversation escalated into an argument. Lena started crying and said she couldn’t understand why I’d reject the opportunity to create such a “beautiful memento” of my child’s birth. I told her that having someone film me during such a personal moment felt creepy and invasive, especially since I’d already made my feelings on the subject clear.
My father was furious, saying I was rude to reject the gift and that he’s “very disappointed” in me. On the other hand, my husband and most of my family agree with me. Still, my father’s reaction has left me second-guessing myself.
So, AITA?
