I (21F) feel completely conflicted and need to know if I’m in the wrong for what happened. My mom (43F) had been dating this guy, Dave (45M), for about a year. Initially, he seemed okay—nice enough, though a bit distant. But over the past few months, his behavior toward me started making me uncomfortable.
It began subtly, with him complimenting me more than I thought was normal. At first, I told myself I was overthinking, but it escalated. He started touching my shoulder or back in ways that felt far from casual. I tried to brush it off, convincing myself I was imagining things, but the discomfort only grew.
A few weeks ago, I decided to confront him. I didn’t want to create drama, but I had to know if I was misreading the situation. I asked him directly, “Is there something going on? You’re acting kind of weird around me.” He laughed it off, called me “paranoid,” and told me to “chill.” I dropped it, but deep down, I knew my instincts were right.
Then the worst happened. One night, when my mom was out of town with friends, Dave came into my room while I was reading. He sat on my bed and started talking about how I was “growing up so well” and how “beautiful” I looked. I felt sick. Before I could react, he said something like, “I’ve always had a thing for younger women, you know?” and tried to kiss me.
I was in complete shock. I pushed him away as hard as I could and told him to get out. He left, but the fear and violation stayed with me. I couldn’t sleep that night, replaying everything in my head and feeling completely unsafe in my own home.
The next day, I was torn. Part of me wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened, but I knew I couldn’t stay silent. I had to tell my mom for my own safety. When she got back, I told her everything. I was shaking as I spoke, and at first, she didn’t believe me. She accused me of trying to ruin her relationship and being overdramatic. She even said I should’ve come to her before “making it a big deal.”
But after some back and forth, she realized I wasn’t lying. She kicked him out and broke up with him. However, instead of feeling supported, I now feel like I’m the bad guy. My mom is furious with me and keeps saying I “ruined everything.” I understand this is hard for her, but I couldn’t stay quiet and risk my safety.
So, AITA for exposing him, knowing it would end their relationship, even though I was protecting myself?
