TL;DR: My wife cheated years ago, and I recently found out the child I’ve been raising isn’t biologically mine.
The past few months have been some of the hardest of my life. When I discovered that my wife had cheated on me years ago and that my son wasn’t biologically mine, it broke me. At first, I wanted to run away from everything—leave my wife, abandon my son, and just disappear. But I couldn’t bring myself to let my son suffer for something that wasn’t his fault.
I moved out, but I continued visiting him. Every visit was bittersweet. I wanted to do right by him, but my wife made things incredibly difficult. She constantly tried to convince me to come back, and her sister wasn’t much better, relentlessly pressuring me to reconcile. I tolerated it all because of my love for my son.
The Christmas Confrontation
This Christmas, after celebrating with my son, my wife, her sister, and her family decided to stage a “talk” to try to get me to reconcile. They claimed I was giving up on my family and urged me to forgive my wife for her “mistake.”
My wife admitted she cheated years ago but insisted she’s been faithful ever since. She told me there was nothing she could do to change the past and begged me to stay with her. They all argued that I love my son despite him not being biologically mine and said I should focus on the life we had built together.
They tried to convince me to take my time, forgive her, and continue as if nothing had happened. My wife even offered to “give me my own child” as if that would fix everything.
My Decision
I listened, but there was nothing else I could do. I told them all exactly how I felt:
- My wife’s actions weren’t just betrayal—they were a deep violation of trust.
- Raising another man’s child without my knowledge or consent was something I could never forgive.
- Everything I’ve done since learning the truth has been for my son, not for her or anyone else.
I explained that I was done. I was filing for divorce and cutting ties. I told them I was leaving, giving up on my son, and moving forward. They tried to stop me, calling and texting me constantly, but I’ve ignored them.
Moving Forward
I’ve already spoken to a lawyer and decided my stance: I will either fight for full custody of my son or give up all parental rights. I’m not concerned about child support—it’s the emotional toll that’s overwhelming.
It hurts deeply because I’ve done my best to give my son a good life, even after finding out he isn’t mine. I wanted him to have both parents in his life, but my wife’s actions have made that impossible for me.
If my son ever reaches out to me in the future or needs my help, I’ll be there for him. But for now, I know the courts will most likely grant custody to his mother.
This situation is devastating, but I’ve made my choice. Am I the asshole for deciding to leave it all behind?
