Okay, this might be long, but I really need to know if I’m overreacting here. I (F, 30) have been married to my husband (M, 32) for seven years, and we have two kids, ages 5 and 3. Every year, we’ve always spent New Year’s together as a family. It’s a tradition I love—just being with the kids and slowing down to enjoy each other’s company.
This year, I decided to clean out my husband’s car. It was a total mess—he’s the type of guy who just throws stuff in there—and I’d been meaning to get to it for weeks. While cleaning, I found something unexpected: a flight ticket. At first, I thought it was old, but when I looked closer, I realized it was for a flight on New Year’s Eve.
At first, I was confused. Then it hit me—he’d booked a trip without telling me. And not just any trip. It was a trip with his friends, without me or the kids.
I was shocked. My mind was racing. We’ve always spent New Year’s as a family, and now he was planning to leave? Without even mentioning it? It felt like such a betrayal.
I went to him and asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you were going away?” He looked at me like I was crazy and said, “I didn’t think it was a big deal. I was going to surprise you.”
That’s when I lost it. I told him a trip like this isn’t a “surprise.” It’s a huge decision that he should’ve talked to me about. I asked him, “You seriously think it’s fine to leave me with the kids while you go off and have fun? On New Year’s of all times?”
He got defensive and said he just needed a break and that I was overreacting. But I couldn’t let it go. I told him he was being selfish and inconsiderate. I’ve been the one planning everything for the holidays, taking care of the kids, and making sure things run smoothly. Meanwhile, he just secretly plans a getaway for himself? It felt like such a slap in the face.
In the heat of the moment, I told him maybe we should just call it quits if he couldn’t see how messed up this was. I didn’t mean it, but I was so blindsided and hurt that I couldn’t help myself. It felt like he didn’t care enough to even mention it to me, like I didn’t matter in his decision-making.
Now, he’s been apologizing nonstop. He says he didn’t mean to hurt me, that he just needed some time to himself and wasn’t thinking. But I’m still so upset. I can’t shake the feeling that he chose to exclude me and the kids, and it stings.
So, AITA for going off on him like that? Or am I being too sensitive? Should I just let him take the trip and move on?
