Advice Needed
A little backstory: My sister has resented me since I was born. When I got pregnant with my oldest daughter, her controlling behavior escalated. She demanded to attend every OB appointment and insisted on being in the delivery room, even though only one person was allowed. Every “first” for my oldest daughter had to include her because, in her words, “she’s never had a kid before.” Never mind the fact that it was my first child too.
Her obsession with my oldest grew to the point where I felt she was borderline grooming her to believe my sister was the mom instead of me.
A few months ago, my family and I relocated halfway across the country to escape her toxic behavior. The final straw was her threatening to call CPS on me for not allowing her to take my oldest for the entire summer. This happened after she threatened to bring a pistol to my mom’s house and “put a bullet” in my fiancé’s head.
Even after moving, I tried to maintain some relationship with my sister through video chats. But on my oldest’s fifth birthday, she made good on her CPS threat. She accused my fiancé and me of sexually abusing my daughter and physically neglecting both of my children. She even sent CPS a photo of my 2-year-old with chocolate ice cream on her face, claiming it was proof my kids were always dirty.
The sexual abuse claim stemmed from my daughter saying, “my butt hurts,” which was due to a diaper rash. (She’s autistic and has epilepsy, so we’re still working on potty training.)
I know it was her because she bragged about it. It was a vindictive attempt to punish me for moving away and “taking her kids.”
After that, I decided to go completely no-contact. What she did hurt my fiancé, my children, and me in ways I can’t forgive.
What Happened on Christmas:
I called my mom on Messenger so the kids could show her their gifts and wish her a Merry Christmas. The call went well until the end, when my mom went into another room and asked if I could do her a favor. I said, “Sure, what’s up?”
She asked me to let my kids talk to my sister because “it’s Christmas.” I immediately said no. I explained that my sister tried to harm my kids and I wouldn’t allow them to interact with her. My mom started crying, saying it would only be for a few minutes and that we could go back to no-contact afterward.
I reminded her that my sister had already tried to ruin my daughter’s life—on her birthday, no less.
My mom continued crying and ended the call. The last time my kids saw my sister (before no-contact), they asked for weeks about talking to her. Letting them talk to her now would only confuse them and lead to more begging and crying to see her, which they wouldn’t understand.
Was I the AH?
This was the only thing my mom asked for Christmas, and I refused.
TL;DR:
My sister made a false CPS report to get revenge for me moving my kids away from her because she had shown she was dangerous. My mom asked me to let my kids talk to my sister for Christmas, and I refused. My mom cried and ended the call. Was I wrong for refusing to give her the one gift she wanted?
