I (33M) share 50-50 custody of my three children (11M, 10F, and 8M) with my ex-wife. My ex is remarried and has two additional children under the age of three with her husband. Financially, they are struggling and unable to fully meet the needs of their children. Despite this, the courts have not, and seemingly will not, grant me full custody. Instead, they encourage my ex and her husband to seek resources, while I’m encouraged to ensure my children are well cared for, even when not in my custody.
To this end, I send my kids with essentials like easy-to-prepare foods, extra clothing, and toiletries when they stay with my ex. However, my ex has repeatedly asked me to send additional items like formula, diapers, and toddler-friendly foods for her younger children. I’ve refused, as I believe it’s my responsibility to provide for my kids, not hers or her husband’s additional children. They already receive outside assistance, and I don’t feel it should fall on me to subsidize their choices.
Over Christmas, tensions boiled over when our kids returned to her home with gifts and food that she and her husband couldn’t afford to provide for their younger children. My ex accused me of being petty and unkind, claiming my refusal to contribute makes her children feel lesser and causes division among the siblings. She argued that I could easily afford to help and that doing so would foster kindness and unity within the family.
I told her it’s not my responsibility to “fix her mistakes.” She chose to expand her family despite her financial struggles, a decision I had no part in. This only angered her further, and now I’m questioning whether I’m being unreasonable.
So, AITA for refusing to provide for my kids’ half-siblings?
