Okay, this is honestly one of the dumbest issues I’ve ever dealt with, but here I am making a Reddit account just to ask this question.
My boyfriend (27M) and I (20F) have been dating for about six months. In the past two months, we’ve started being intimate. For context, he’s not my first partner, but he’s only the second person I’ve ever been with and the first I’ve been with repeatedly. So in many ways, he’s a first for a lot of things.
The first time we were intimate, it was honestly painful. The penetration and movement felt cramping rather than pleasurable, and I experienced deep stomach pain that lasted for hours afterward. I assumed it might just be a one-time thing and that we needed more preparation, so we tried again.
Same issue.
This has happened every time we’ve been together, so much so that I started to worry something was wrong and went to my doctor. She assured me there wasn’t anything diagnosably wrong, apart from some bruising on my cervix that would heal on its own. She suggested more preparation beforehand, which I’d already suspected. She also mentioned that sometimes people are simply anatomically incompatible. Being 5’1”, she subtly hinted that my boyfriend’s size might be the issue.
Of course, I told my boyfriend all this. His reaction? He was flattered. Like, really flattered.
Ever since, he hasn’t stopped bragging about it. Every time it comes up, he gets this smug, proud look, as if it’s some amazing accomplishment. He’ll subtly (or not-so-subtly) comment about how “big” he is and how we need to “adjust” because of his size.
What’s worse is that he refuses to make adjustments during intimacy. I’ve told him repeatedly that slamming into me only makes it worse, and while he’ll apologize in the moment and say, “I forgot,” it’s like he doesn’t actually try to change. He’s too busy being proud of himself to take my discomfort seriously.
I’ve never enjoyed being intimate with him—not even once.
The breaking point came during our last encounter. He kept doing the same thing despite my reminders, and the pain became unbearable. I snapped. I pushed him away harder than I meant to and told him to stop letting his ego get in the way, to stop bragging about hurting me, and to stop being so obsessed with his size.
He was offended. He slammed the bathroom door in my face, and it turned into the biggest fight we’ve ever had. I ended up apologizing, and he accepted it, but honestly, the more I think about it, the less I feel like I was in the wrong.
So, Reddit, AITA for snapping at him?
