Here’s the situation: I (30F) recently moved into a new place. Wanting to be a considerate sister, I gave my sister, Maya (26F), a spare key for emergencies—things like letting in a repair person or handling an unexpected situation.
Last week, I was out of town for a few days, and my roommate informed me that Maya had used the key to let her boyfriend into my place. She didn’t ask me first—she just showed up with him and let him hang out, apparently because it was “convenient” since she was nearby.
I was upset when I found out. Maya and I have a good relationship, but using the key without asking felt like a huge breach of trust. It wasn’t an emergency, and I hadn’t given her permission to treat my place as a hangout spot. I felt like she crossed a boundary, so I told her I was taking the key back. Honestly, I didn’t think it would be a big deal.
But Maya didn’t see it that way. She’s furious, calling me unreasonable and controlling. She thinks I should have let it slide since it was “just her boyfriend” and not some random stranger.
To me, though, it’s not about who she let in—it’s about the principle. I gave her the key because I trusted her to use it responsibly, and I feel like she didn’t respect that. Am I overreacting? Should I have handled it differently or let it go?
TL;DR: I gave my sister a spare key for emergencies, but she used it to let her boyfriend into my place without asking while I was out of town. I took the key back, and now she’s upset. AITA?
