My parents divorced when I (15M) was 7. Three years ago, my dad got remarried to a woman who has two young kids from her previous marriage. They visit their dad twice a year, sometimes even less frequently.
When I stay at my dad’s house, I’ve always been expected to take care of myself. After his wife and her kids came into the picture, I was also expected to babysit them. This happens Monday through Friday for three hours a day when I’m at my dad’s. I’ve hated it from the start, and so has my mom, but my dad never stopped, even when she confronted him about it. Mom even tried raising the issue in court, but the judge dismissed it, saying that siblings babysitting isn’t a big deal. The problem is, they’re not my siblings—and they weren’t even my stepsiblings when this started.
The kids have gotten really attached to me, which has only made things more complicated. My dad argued with my mom a lot because she refused to let me go to his house on her time just to babysit his stepkids. He thought she was being unreasonable and claimed it was interfering with “my bond” with the kids, even though I didn’t want to babysit in the first place.
Now, my dad and his wife are moving to another state, and they want me to move with them. The judge ruled that my dad couldn’t take me because it would mean uprooting me from the life I’ve always known here with my mom. However, the judge also said that if I wanted to go, it would be allowed, and my mom couldn’t stop it.
But I don’t want to go, and I’ve told him that—repeatedly. He keeps pressuring me, saying I need to think it over, that I’m part of a “bigger family” now, and that he and his stepkids would miss me terribly. While he says this, it’s clear to me that what he’ll really miss is the free babysitting I provide.
He’s also tried to convince me by pointing out that the move will put them near a really good school. He even tried to use that as leverage to get my mom to agree, but she refuses because she doesn’t want to only see me a few times a year.
Now that the move is just a couple of weeks away and I’m still refusing to go, my dad is throwing a fit about it. He says I’m being selfish and not considering the long-term benefits of moving with them.
So, AITA for refusing to move and staying with my mom instead?
