Several years ago, my ex-husband (44M) cheated on me (40F) and ended our marriage to be with his affair partner, Jen (42F). At the time, our children were very young. Now, he has custody of the kids for six days a month because his job often takes him out of state. This arrangement ensures our kids are either with me or their father instead of being left with a babysitter or Jen.
According to my ex and Jen, she is sterile and cannot have children. I never asked about this, but they volunteered the information, hoping it would encourage me to “share” the kids with her and support them in seeing Jen as a second mother. I refused. I’ve made it clear we’re not friends and that they shouldn’t expect favors from me after their betrayal. Jen was someone I knew before discovering the affair. She was dating someone in my ex’s circle of friends and had gone out of her way to get close to me. I later realized it was to make it easier for her to justify her actions, expecting I wouldn’t hate her as much.
Fast forward to now: Jen was an avid cheerleader in her youth and volunteers with local cheerleading groups. She recently started pushing for my 10-year-old daughter to join cheerleading, with my ex supporting her. My daughter came to me upset, saying she didn’t want to join and asking for my help. The kids know decisions like that require agreement from both parents.
I reached out to my ex via the app we use for communication, telling him our daughter would not be forced into cheerleading against her will. He ignored my message and instead responded with a string of profanities, which I documented. Jen also tried to call me, but I didn’t answer.
A few days later, we ran into each other at a store. She confronted me, claiming I was “punishing” her by not letting her bond with my kids. She insisted she had every right to share her passion for cheerleading with my daughter, given her years in their lives. I told her she couldn’t force my child into something she didn’t want. Jen followed me around the store, going on about how it was her dream to share cheer with a daughter. Frustrated, I told her, “If you want to share cheerleading with a daughter, then have one of your own and leave mine alone.”
Jen stopped following me after that, but my ex later contacted me, calling me cruel for saying such a thing when I know she can’t have children.
So, AITA for what I said?
