My husband (42M) and I (31F) have been married for 12 years. We have two kids, an 8-year-old son and a 4-year-old daughter.
Our marriage isn’t exactly great. His mother and sister often give unsolicited advice about my parenting, our marriage, and pretty much every aspect of our lives. Things have improved over the past few months after multiple serious conversations with my husband. He finally started listening, and they’ve backed off a bit—not completely, but it’s better.
Recently, my husband has been bringing up the idea of having a third child, which fills me with dread. I love children and always dreamed of having a big family, but the reality is that it would be too much for me. I already handle cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, and working part-time from home.
My husband doesn’t contribute much around the house, which I’ve mostly accepted, but he also doesn’t help with the kids, which is a major problem. I’ve been the one to change every diaper, wake up at night, handle fevers, schedule doctor appointments, manage school and playdates—everything. The mere thought of going through another pregnancy and raising a baby practically alone makes me want to cry. I know I’d have to do it all by myself because, according to him, he “provides” and believes that “women have been doing this for centuries, so I should pull my weight and stop being spoiled.”
Last night, everything came to a head. After yet another one of his monologues about how he “takes great care of us” and how we “should have a third child,” I snapped. I told him that he really doesn’t take care of us. I pointed out that our kids barely know him because he doesn’t spend time with them. When he comes home, he doesn’t engage with them except to snap at our daughter when she’s too loud. He doesn’t know anything about our daily lives because he never asks, and I stopped volunteering information since he doesn’t listen anyway.
I told him he’s not the great father or husband he claims to be, and I have no desire to be a single mom to a third child—two are already more than enough, thank you.
He stared at me, completely dumbfounded, before calling me a “c***,” delusional, and ungrateful, then stormed out to his mother’s house.
So, AITA?
