I’m a 26F married to a 29M, and food has been a major point of stress in our household. My husband is a very picky eater and, due to his mental health struggles, he’s been eating out at McDonald’s or KFC three times a day for months because it makes him feel good. While we both agreed this isn’t great for his health or our finances, I’ve been doing my best to cook meals he would enjoy.
He typically eats a breakfast burger at McDonald’s, and I’ve seen him eat Turkish bread rolls with bacon and eggs before. Yesterday, while shopping together, I picked up Turkish bread, bacon, spinach, and breakfast patties to prepare a similar breakfast for him. At checkout, he suddenly said he didn’t want these items because they were “too fatty” and claimed he was trying to eat healthier. I asked what he planned to eat instead, and he said rice and eggs at home. I suggested leaving the breakfast items behind if he didn’t want them, but he said he didn’t want to wait and decided to buy them anyway.
This morning, he asked me to make breakfast but started complaining mid-preparation. He said the maple-flavored bacon was “gross” and claimed he never wanted the breakfast in the first place, only agreeing to it because we’d already bought it. Frustrated, I told him if he didn’t want it, he could throw it away and get McDonald’s instead.
He then started calling me names, saying I was “barking like a dog.” Hurt, I went upstairs to cool off. He called me back down, demanding I finish cooking, and when I didn’t, he escalated further, claiming he wanted a divorce. When I returned, he apologized, but moments later, started complaining again, saying I never cook for him—despite that being completely untrue.
For the last few weeks, I’ve been cooking daily, but he hasn’t been eating what I make. A tray of lasagna went uneaten because it was “too cheesy.” Spaghetti was thrown out because it was “not flavorful enough.” Burrito bowls were rejected because “the chicken wasn’t good,” though he ate them the next day when I tried different spices. I even made a butterflied grilled chicken with bread and salad last night, which he enjoyed.
He’s now blaming me for his outbursts, taking photos of my unwashed coffee cup to prove I’m neglectful, and yelling that I’m making him crazy. He’s even blamed me for his drug use and claimed I’m the reason for his mental state. After all this, he threw the breakfast away and went to McDonald’s.
Edit: Thank you to everyone who has offered advice and support. I’ve been feeling really down all day and decided to spend some time window shopping just to clear my mind. It’s been a rough day.
