So, I (F25) live with my roommate (M27). I originally lived alone, but due to financial difficulties, I took on a roommate. A mutual friend introduced us, and initially, things were fine—he doesn’t smoke or do drugs, and he pays his share of the rent and utilities.
However, we’ve been having a major issue: he keeps stealing my food. I work full-time and often cook meals in advance, labeling them with my name. Despite this, my food would consistently disappear, and he always denied taking it. I even confronted him multiple times, but he insisted it wasn’t him, though no one else lives here. I eventually caught him in the act a few times, which made his denials even more frustrating.
For context, my roommate is severely allergic to nuts. When he moved in, he told me about his allergy, so I stopped buying or consuming nuts in our shared space. I didn’t mind avoiding them since I don’t particularly like nuts anyway, and I wanted to be considerate.
After weeks of stolen food and blatant denial, I snapped. I decided to teach him a lesson. I made a batch of mac and cheese and added a small amount of almond powder to it. I labeled the container, sent him a picture, and explicitly told him not to eat it. I even set up a camera in the kitchen to record what happened.
Sure enough, when I came home, the mac and cheese was gone. He’d eaten the entire thing, leaving the container on the counter. Later that night, I found out he was in the hospital due to an allergic reaction. His mom called me from his phone, furious, accusing me of poisoning him. I calmly explained that the food was mine and that I had repeatedly told him not to eat it. I even offered to show her the messages and the video evidence, but she kept yelling, blaming me for being “careless” for having nuts in the apartment at all.
I told her that I had every right to eat what I wanted and that her son had no business stealing my food, especially when I’d clearly labeled it and warned him. She started crying and accused me of not caring about him, but I stood firm. He made the choice to eat my food despite all the warnings.
Now, everyone’s calling me a psycho, saying I went too far. But I don’t see how this is my fault. I didn’t put nuts in his food; I put it in my food, which he stole. I even made him sign a roommate agreement stating that our groceries and meals were not to be shared.
For those worried about the severity of his allergy, I’ve since learned that it isn’t life-threatening unless he consumes a large quantity. Apparently, he once ate a granola bar with nuts and just used an epi-pen without any major issues. According to my neighbors, his mom drove him to the hospital; there was no ambulance involved. He’s fine now and has been texting friends.
His mom is demanding I pay for his hospital bill. I haven’t decided how to handle that yet. I feel bad that he ended up in the hospital, but at the same time, I don’t think I’m responsible. He’s an adult and chose to ignore my warnings and eat food that didn’t belong to him.
So, AITAH? Or was I justified in teaching him a lesson about respecting boundaries?
