I (24F) have an older sister (29F) who started having kids right out of high school. She got pregnant at 18, and our parents, along with her boyfriend’s parents, insisted they get married. Now, they have five children: 11, 6, 3, 2, and 1.
My sister and I are close with our parents, and we have frequent family dinners. But honestly, I’ve had enough.
She’s never held a job, doesn’t have a college degree, and her husband barely makes enough money to support their large family. Every time we’re together, she complains about her life: how she can’t do anything for herself, no one will babysit her kids, she has no money, her body is ruined, and she can’t afford surgery to fix her abdominal issues. On top of that, her kids are wild and hard to deal with, and her husband is hardly ever around because, at this point, he can’t stand being with her either.
Our parents did their part when we were younger—they gave us “the talk” at 16, provided access to contraceptives, and encouraged us to get an education before settling down. They’re generally liberal-minded, though they disapprove of having kids outside of marriage. My sister chose to keep her baby at 18, even though abortion was an option, and she kept having more kids after that.
At Christmas, during her usual pity party about her life, I finally snapped. I told her to shut up because I’m sick of hearing her constant complaints. She responded by saying I “wouldn’t understand” because I have a degree, a good job, no kids, and can afford to take care of myself and enjoy life.
I told her, point blank, that she’s in this situation because of her own poor choices, and no one feels sorry for her. Our brother laughed, and while our parents stayed out of it, they’ve privately complained about her behavior as well.
She’s furious and insists I’m a complete asshole. She’s been crying on Facebook and making TikToks about how “society hates mothers,” how “there’s no village to help,” and how “even family doesn’t care.” Oh, and as if this couldn’t get worse—she’s pregnant again.
I’ve blocked her on social media and plan to ignore her moving forward. But now I’m wondering: AITAH?
