In August, I attempted suicide and survived. I lost my job shortly after and couldn’t afford rent. The only thing I had left was my friend group. They were my lifeline—a group of people who shared my interests, loved spontaneous adventures, and kept me laughing. We played games together, went out for food, and had the kind of connection that made me feel like I’d hit the jackpot. It was the one bright spot in a dark time, and I truly believed I could start rebuilding my life with them by my side.
I started seeing a therapist, hoping to work on my mental health and get back on track. At first, things seemed hopeful, but in hindsight, taking her advice turned out to be the worst decision I could have made.
She kept urging me to open up to my friends about my struggles. I repeatedly told her I didn’t think it was a good idea. While my friends were kind, they came from well-off families and, honestly, weren’t very emotionally mature. We never talked about mental health or personal struggles—we just bonded over shared hobbies and good times. I worried that revealing such heavy things might push them away.
Still, my therapist insisted I needed to be honest with them, not just for emotional support but also because of my precarious housing situation. She suggested I ask if I could stay with one of them. I resisted for weeks, but eventually, I gave in. She said that if I wasn’t willing to follow her advice, I wasn’t making an effort to help myself.
In October, I decided to open up. I told my friends that I’d been struggling with my mental health and was in a really dark place. I explained that I didn’t have stable housing or family to lean on and that life had been incredibly hard. The response was devastating—complete silence. The room filled with awkward tension, and a few of them even looked visibly uncomfortable or annoyed.
After that, everything changed. They started distancing themselves from me immediately. For four years, we’d gone out almost every day, but now I wasn’t invited to anything. No one responded when I tried joking in the group chat. A month passed in silence.
I eventually reached out privately to a couple of them, asking if they wanted to play games. They ghosted me. A week later, I noticed they’d blocked me on Steam and Discord. I wasn’t just blocked individually—I was also kicked out of the group chat entirely. Four years of friendship, the only thing keeping me afloat through my darkest times, was gone in an instant.
I haven’t been able to face my therapist since. I know she meant well and was just trying to help, but her advice left me utterly alone. My life feels empty now, and I spend most days crying in bed, trying to understand how everything fell apart so quickly.
Edit:
Thank you so much for all the kind words and support. It means more to me than I can express. I’ve been feeling so lonely and just needed to get this off my chest. I thought I’d be shouting into the void, but instead, I found so many caring people willing to listen. I truly appreciate every one of you. Thank you.
