My husband is usually a great partner and father, but I am so incredibly upset right now. I don’t think I’ve ever been this mad. This morning, around 8:30, I woke up to the sound of our kids running around. Knowing how excited they’d be to open their Christmas presents, I immediately got up.
For context, I have trouble sleeping, so my husband takes care of the kids in the mornings to let me rest until I wake up naturally or have to help get the kids ready. He’s usually with them for 30 minutes to an hour before I join. He also knows what time to wake me if I oversleep.
When I walked into the living room, I saw wrapping paper everywhere. All the presents had already been opened, and the kids (5 and 7) were happily playing with their new toys. I was crushed. I started crying on the spot and went back to the bedroom, where my sadness turned into anger. I ended up screaming like crazy.
I’m furious because I spent so much time picking out thoughtful gifts, shopping for them, and wrapping everything just right. One of the best parts of Christmas for me is watching my kids’ reactions when they open their gifts. I feel robbed of that joy. My husband told me he videotaped it, but that didn’t make it better. I yelled at him, asking why he couldn’t make the kids wait or just wake me up. He said, “I never wake you up in the morning.” I told him, “It’s Christmas morning. You didn’t think I’d want to watch the kids open presents?” and I called him an asshole.
He apologized and didn’t try to defend himself, but I’m still really hurt. I feel too upset to enjoy anything Christmas-related right now. I guess I just needed to vent. Am I overreacting? Was I the asshole for getting so upset? If anyone has advice on how to process these feelings, I’d really appreciate it.
Edit: I want to clarify that I did not cry or scream in front of my children. I went to the bedroom to process my emotions privately. My husband came in, and that’s when I yelled at him and called him an asshole. I wish I could have controlled my emotions better, but I’m human.
Update: Some of the responses have been extreme—suggesting divorce, therapy for everyone, and all sorts of drastic measures. Here’s what actually happened:
My husband and I were cordial throughout the day. I spent time with the kids, admiring their toys and playing games. My husband helped them assemble Legos. We had snacks, I made dinner, and we ended the day driving around to look at Christmas lights.
I talked to the kids about what happened. My older child apologized for opening the presents without me, saying they were just so excited. I told them it was okay but asked if we could do things differently next time.
When the kids went to bed, I spoke to my husband. He apologized, saying he didn’t think about how it would affect me. He explained that he was busy with a project when the kids came downstairs around 8:00. They were excited, and he couldn’t hold them off any longer but wanted to let me sleep. That’s why he videotaped it—so I wouldn’t miss out completely.
I asked how he’d feel if the roles were reversed. He admitted, “Yeah, that would suck. I know I messed up. Dad brain.” I forgave him because we have a strong marriage and work through things together. I apologized for yelling and calling him an asshole, and he said he understood my reaction. He assured me the kids didn’t hear me yelling.
We’ve already made a plan for next year. Our kids always get one gift from Santa, which they can open whenever they want. The rest of the presents will stay hidden until we’re all together.
Thank you to everyone who offered thoughtful input. While some comments were intense or rude, I appreciated the kindness and reasonable advice. It’s good to know there are people out there who try to make the world a better place. Happy Holidays!
