This happened when I finally worked up the courage to get a pixie-cut hairstyle. I was thrilled with it because it felt like me. For context, I don’t really care about gender norms when shopping for clothes. For instance, I once bought a men’s Hawaiian shirt because I liked the fabric and found it breezy and comfortable.
So, here’s what happened: I was at the mall with my then-boyfriend and headed to the women’s bathroom as usual. The restroom was empty except for a woman applying makeup at the mirror. As I walked toward one of the stalls, she quickly turned to me, makeup brush still in hand, and said, “Isn’t this bathroom for women only?”
I was confused at first and replied, “Yeah?” because, obviously, there’s a big sign outside saying so. Then it hit me—she was staring at my chest as though trying to determine if I was a woman or a man trying to sneak into the women’s restroom.
Honestly, it made no sense. I was wearing short-shorts with leggings, and while I had on the breezy men’s Hawaiian shirt, it was unbuttoned and loose, revealing a tight black tank top underneath. If anything, my outfit leaned feminine.
The whole situation was so absurd that I decided to lean into the awkwardness. I made eye contact with her, pointed toward my shorts with both hands, and casually asked, “Wanna check?” If she was going to make it weird, I was going to make it weirder.
Then, sarcastically, I added, “Wanna enter a stall with me and have a peek? We’re both women, right?”
The silence that followed was golden. I think it finally clicked for her who was actually being creepy in that moment. She backed off immediately, muttering a quick “No,” and left me alone.
After finishing my business and washing my hands, she actually apologized. I told her it was no big deal, but the incident stuck with me.
I also want to take a moment to apologize to trans people out there who deal with this kind of treatment far more often—just trying to live their lives and mind their own business. I got a small taste of it, and it’s infuriating and exhausting. Respect and solidarity to you all.
