I (30F) share two daughters (13 and 6) with my ex-husband (36M). We divorced two years ago due to his abusive, controlling, and possessive behavior. He would constantly accuse me of cheating with any man I interacted with. This paranoia seemed to stem from a party we attended early in our marriage when his friends and coworkers told him he was “lucky to have me” and that I was “out of his league.” Since then, things only got worse.
Yesterday, I attended a birthday party at his sister’s house to celebrate her 10-year-old daughter. His sister and I have been close friends since middle school, which is how I ended up marrying her older brother. The party included his entire family, along with my ex, his girlfriend, and her two kids from her previous relationship.
I dressed up for the occasion, wearing a fitted midi dress paired with slingback heels. The compliments I received made me feel confident and happy. I kept my interactions focused on his family and my kids, avoiding my ex entirely. He was playing with our younger daughter, so I thought everything was fine.
Later, he approached me while smoking a cigarette and, in a mocking tone, told me I shouldn’t wear “that kind of dress,” saying I looked like a “whore and a prostitute” because some of my cleavage was visible. I was stunned. Especially since his girlfriend, who is a bigger woman, was also wearing a low-cut dress showing cleavage.
I calmly told him he had no right to comment on my outfit and suggested he take a look at what his girlfriend was wearing first. That enraged him. He told me to “shut my mouth” and “not talk back.” Not wanting to cause a scene in front of the kids, I walked away.
Later, I was talking to one of his cousins (28M) when my ex approached again, saying he wanted to discuss the kids. He led me to the backyard, but instead of talking about our daughters, he grabbed my arm and accused me of trying to seduce his cousin. He called me a “slut” and said he wished he could “tie me up and lock me away.” When I tried to defend myself, he slapped me hard enough to knock me to the ground.
His sister, her husband, and their parents saw what happened and immediately intervened. They stopped him from doing anything further while he continued blaming me for everything. I grabbed my belongings, took my kids, and left for my parents’ house that night.
Now, his family has been calling and texting, begging me to forgive him and not escalate the situation. They want me to let it go and avoid filing a report “for the sake of the kids.” But I feel he crossed a line that I can’t ignore.
Should I let it go for the sake of my daughters, or should I take action and file a report?
Additional Context:
I started dating my ex-husband when I was 15, and he was 21. I got pregnant at 16, and he was 22. He was my first everything—boyfriend, kiss, and marriage. After our divorce, I started dating someone else, and I’ve only been with two men in my life. Since I started dating my boyfriend two years ago, my ex has been calling me all sorts of slurs and making hateful comments. His behavior has been unbearable.
Edit:
I never expected so many comments—thank you all for your advice. I’ve read every one of them! I will be blocking his family’s numbers and filing a report against him.
For those who have DMed asking if I’m Middle Eastern or Arab—no, I’m not. I’m of American and Korean descent, and my ex-husband is American. I’ll update you all after I take action.
