My MIL LOVES to point out what’s wrong with everyone. She talks badly about her friends, family, neighbors—basically, if you’ve interacted with her, she’s probably said something negative about you. Over the years, I’ve lost patience and respect for her because of this. While I always knew she talked about me, what really got to me was when she’d say nasty things about my husband, my friends, or even innocent bystanders like neighbors or people at her church.
One day, I hit my limit. I saw an ad for Better Health Therapy (likely because I was in therapy at the time), and I thought, “Maybe if she came across counseling resources, she might actually give them a try.” So, I subscribed her email to their newsletters.
Not long after, she made a snide remark about my weight. That’s when it clicked for me: her comments weren’t coming from a place of concern or an attempt to help. She was just being mean for sport. So, I decided to step things up. I looked up Noom, WW, and similar programs and subscribed her to those emails too. Then I went further and signed her up for every fast food chain email within a 15-mile radius of her house.
Some time passed, and she started giving my SIL grief about her clothing, saying she needed to dress “more modestly.” She also told my husband he spent too much time and money on video games, completely disregarding the fact that we, as adults, had already set a budget and schedule for our hobbies. Then there were the passive-aggressive comments about my friends, like, “Don’t they want to grow up?” or “Don’t they want to provide for their families?” She had no idea (or didn’t care) that these friends were juggling higher education and caregiving for sick parents.
At that point, I decided she needed a broader selection of emails. I signed her up for newsletters from clothing brands and stores, gaming companies like Xbox, Blizzard, and Nintendo, and even emails from various universities.
My crown achievement? I subscribed her to newsletters from sex toy websites. Because if she was so concerned with everyone else’s lives, maybe it was time for her to go fuck herself.
