I work in tech as a project/program manager. It’s a fast-paced environment, with high-stakes, multimillion-dollar multinational projects that sometimes require attention at odd hours.
Two years ago, my wife—then in her late 30s—received devastating news: she had a rare and serious form of lymphoma. The discovery was as horrifying as it was sudden. Her treatment involved surgery, multiple rounds of in-patient chemotherapy, and an allogeneic bone marrow stem cell transplant.
In addition to becoming her primary caretaker, I found myself the sole breadwinner and the primary parent to our three young children. Balancing all of this was no small feat.
Thankfully, almost everyone I work with was incredibly supportive. My boss and immediate leadership offered me as much paid time off as I needed, knowing I’m always dedicated to my work. I continued working during her treatment, but on days when she had appointments or infusions, I’d block off 2-3 hours, mark myself “out of office” on email and messaging platforms, and focus on being there for her.
Most people respected this.
Except one salesman.
For reasons only he could explain, my out-of-office status wasn’t enough to stop him from bombarding me with messages about an “urgent” matter. I tried to hold my ground, responding that I was unavailable and would call him back later. But he wasn’t taking no for an answer.
Finally, he escalated to calling me on Microsoft Teams.
I answered.
With my camera on.
From the infusion room at my wife’s oncologist’s office, where she sat nearby—bald, curled up in a ball, visibly worn down from chemo and the bone marrow transplant.
He froze.
“Uh…where are you?” he stammered.
I calmly explained where I was and why I was out of the office. Suddenly, his “urgent” matter wasn’t so urgent anymore. “Oh man, uh…can you just call me back later?”
My wife and I laughed about it afterward. She’s doing great now, by the way! She even encouraged me to share this story here because she thought it was hilarious.
Lesson learned: sometimes people need a visual reminder to understand what “out of office” really means. 😄
