A few years ago, I gained a significant amount of weight very suddenly. It turned out to be caused by a tumour, which also brought a host of other health issues. After emergency surgery to remove it, I’ve been on a high dose of steroids, which comes with its own delightful side effects.
If you’ve ever been on long-term high-dose steroids or had a tumour in your endocrine system, you know it’s a nightmare. Imagine feeling like an overinflated balloon with mood swings that turn you into a completely different person. You grow hair in places you never wanted, and the constant, bone-deep exhaustion makes you feel like you’re on the brink of collapse. It’s an experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
One evening, after meeting a friend for a drink (literally one glass of wine), I was waiting for my train. Out of breath and swaying slightly—not from the drink but from sheer fatigue—I was minding my own business when a woman struck up a conversation with me.
At first, it was harmless. She mentioned having had two healthy pregnancies, and I could see where this was heading. But I decided to let her keep digging.
As the conversation went on, I casually mentioned I’d been out for a drink with friends, hoping she’d take the hint and stop. She didn’t. Instead, she dropped the bomb:
“You really shouldn’t be drinking when you’re pregnant… not even one glass.”
Now, I’m generally mild-mannered and avoid confrontation. But the mood swings from my tumour and steroids had other plans. I saw red.
I calmly turned to her and said, “Oh, my belly? No, I’m not pregnant. I have a brain tumour. They’ve already told me it’s too late for radiation, and I’m at risk of a heart attack until they can remove it.”
I left it there. Completely factual, no embellishments. And the best part? The train wasn’t arriving for another 15 minutes. We stood there together in silence, and I cheerfully let her stew in that incredibly awkward, tension-filled quarter of an hour.
TL;DR:
A woman told me I shouldn’t drink while pregnant. I’m not pregnant—I had a brain tumour. She learned the hard way why you should never assume.
