TW: Suicide attempt, homophobia
My brother has recently turned very anti-LGBTQ+ for no apparent reason. It’s baffling because our parents raised us to respect others as long as no one’s getting hurt. The shift feels personal, especially since I’m asexual and exclusively attracted to women. Add to that his history of being a terrible boyfriend, and the irony is almost poetic.
He was verbally abusive to his ex-girlfriends—not outright horrendous, but bad enough that they both cut him off after breaking up. Where did they end up? Dating each other. Yep, his exes are now in a happy relationship, and honestly, I think it’s karma.
On my side, I’m in a queerplatonic relationship with my amazing partner, Cady, who’s a trans woman. She’s been a rock in my life, respecting my boundaries in ways no one else has. But she’s also been through a lot. Her dad is abusive, and she struggles with mental health challenges, so I’ve made it my mission to support her. Just before my birthday, she attempted to take her life. It’s been tough, but she’s worth every ounce of effort.
Fast forward to Christmas. We were heading to my grandma’s house (which doubles as a church), and I let Cady know we’d be out for a while. My mom and I were talking logistics when my brother butted in, saying, “Why do you need to constantly track her? It’s not like she doesn’t have a family.”
For context, Cady’s relationship with her family is abusive, so yeah—she doesn’t really have a family. I told him she wasn’t doing well, especially during the holidays. That’s when this 15-year-old man-child had the audacity to do the hand-twirling “crazy” gesture.
I’ve learned to let his insults toward me slide, but when it comes to my partner? No chance.
So I snapped:
“You know, if anyone here is a crazy partner, it’s you. You were such a bad boyfriend that both of your exes are gay now and dating each other.”
Cue the meltdown. He went full toddler-mode, yelling and effectively ruining Christmas for everyone. Was it worth it? Totally.
Edit 1:
Some clarifications:
- My brother’s homophobia started about a year and a half before he dated these two girls.
- I call him a “man-child” because that’s what our mom calls him. Trust me, there are worse words I could use.
- When I first wrote this, it was much longer and full of details that either exposed too much or were too hard to follow. I summarized it using AI because I was short on time. I have the original text if anyone wants to see it.
- My brother’s been grounded for three months due to an incident involving the police. He was starting to improve until my mom gave him his phone back, which reignited the cycle.
Edit 2:
My brother’s homophobia initially targeted me when he found out I had a girlfriend two years ago. He harassed me and my friends to the point where I lost several friendships and my relationship. He’s too cowardly to harass people who might fight back, but his behavior worsened after discovering his exes were dating each other. Now, his hate is mainly directed at me and my partners. As much as I hate it, I’d rather take the brunt of his behavior than see it harm anyone else.
On a positive note:
Cady is now getting therapy. It’s a small victory, though her dad remains an awful human being. Regardless, we’re moving forward.
